Archive | 9:17 pm

Wireless eating

29 Apr

In anticipation of my upgrade to a wireless jaw, I went to the office this morning with a number of foods I thought I’d be able to eat. For a late lunch, I had brought the remains of the tamarind lentils–unblended–that I made on Saturday. For snacks, I brought some golden nugget mandarins, a couple of mangoes, a bag of Tings and some brownies I made early this morning to celebrate the occasion.

The lentils, I realized were too solid to eat without chewing. Had I used brown lentils, I might have had a chance at  slurping them, but I had used French lentils, which keep their shape better.

The first thing I actually ate wirelessly were the brownies. I used a recipe from Don’t Eat off the Sidewalk, which I had made once before. It was a perfect recipe for the occasion in that the brownies, aside from being delicious had a melt-in-your-mouth consistency, which was perfect for somebody unable to chew. I hadn’t anticipated the difficulty in opening my mouth, but I found that by breaking the brownies into large crumbs, I was able to enjoy them.

I then had a few of the Tings. They aren’t particularly soft, but, they’re full of air, so they dissolve after sitting in the mouth for a few seconds.

That was all I ate before I took all of my leftover food home. At home, I had some pasta with sauce, but with a little bit less sauce, and blended slightly less than yesterday. While eating the pasta, I realized I was out of practice with using a fork. Often, I’d raise a forkful of food to my mouth, only to have the fork stop when it hit my teeth. After finishing the pasta, I blended the lentils, but not quite as much as the last few days.

For dessert, I had some brownies with Purely Decadent vegan ice cream. I had stocked up on the ice cream at the Grocery Outlet (for $1.49 a pint!) while I was wired, but found that the flavors I had gotten (So Very Strawberry and Chunky Mint Madness) were not suitable for consumption through a straw.

At least so far, it seems like the expansion of my diet with the removal of the wire is not particularly great. I may even end up having another smoothie tonight.

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Mandible liberation

29 Apr

I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited to go to a dentist as I was today. As I walked there, I started to feel nervous, though.  What if I were to open my mouth for the first time in three weeks and hear my jaw break again? I tried my best to forget about this thought.

When I got to the oral surgeon’s office, the receptionist recognized me and was ready with a waiver for me to sign for the procedure. I signed the waiver, which warned me about a number of things, many of which should have been irrelevant to this procedure (i.e. dry socket). A woman whom I hadn’t seen in the office before took me back to a room with a dentist’s chair and asked if I had any questions. I asked what my diet should be like with the wire off, and she said I should stick to soft foods, which didn’t surprise me. She had me sit down in the chair and asked if I wanted nitrous oxide. I asked if I needed it, and she said the surgeon would need to numb me for the procedure.

Just then, the surgeon walked in through the door, and said, “No, I don’t. She’s lying.” He explained to her that he was only taking off the wires fastening my jaw shut, and not the “arch bars”, which I gathered were the braces on my upper and lower jaws. He assured me that the procedure would be painless, and he wouldn’t even have to touch my gums. He went on to add, “You know what is going to hurt? When you try to open your mouth.” He explained that this was because I hadn’t used the muscles in my jaws for three weeks, and he compared it to the pain of getting up off the couch after sitting there without moving for three weeks. I didn’t tell him this, but I felt that the analogy was a failure because I had never sat on the couch for that long. He did, at least, tell me that it would get better relatively quickly, and I wouldn’t need to do any jaw exercises.

In any case, he looked into my mouth, and told me he was impressed  by how clean it was. “Hygiene is important,” he said, “It plays a big role in how you feel about yourself.” My self esteem has never been tied to my oral hygiene, but perhaps that’s because I don’t have a degree in dentistry. He then cut off the wires, and told me, “You’re a free man.” I started to get up out of the chair, but then he said, “You can open your mouth,” and I realized what he had meant. So I opened my mouth nice and wide, and somehow it didn’t hurt. Then I opened it a little bit wider and it hurt quite a bit, so I closed it again. I opened my mouth again, this time stopping before I felt any pain, and then slowly closed my mouth again. On the left side, my teeth felt soft against each other, but I hoped that this was just because I was unaccustomed to my top and bottom teeth moving relative to each other.

The oral surgeon explained that my bones will be considered to have healed in three weeks, and for the intervening time, I’ll have rubber bands in my mouth. As for eating, I’m not allowed to chew; the rule is that if I can slurp it, I can eat it. He warned me against Wonderbread (in which I have no interest, even not knowing whether it’s vegan) with peanut butter and jelly because that requires chewing. He listed a number of foods I can eat, including refried beans and rice, pasta, and mashed potatoes. I’m skeptical of his claim that pasta and rice can be eaten without chewing (unless blended), but I should be able to find enough to eat without his suggestions. After three weeks, I’ll be able eat some foods that require chewing, but apples will still be too hard. I’m also free to have my dentist repair my chipped teeth now.

The oral surgeon had his assistant give me toothpaste and a children’s toothbrush and instructed me to brush my teeth and my tongue while he went and did something else. The toothpaste, of course, was the non-vegan Crest, but I used it because I didn’t have my own toothpaste with me. I brushed the outsides of my teeth as I have been doing for the last few weeks, but when it came time to brush my tongue and the insides and tops of my teeth, I realized that I wasn’t able to open my mouth enough for the toothbrush (even being a children’s size) to fit through. I ended up having to settle for cleaning those parts of my mouth by rinsing. I might be a free man, but only in the sense that somebody who gets out of prison and put on house arrest is free. I’m more free than in the immediate past, but I’ve had better.

After I had cleaned my mouth, the surgeon showed me how to hook rubber bands onto the braces, which he explained were to make sure my teeth are “in the right ZIP code.” I can take the rubber bands out, but only when eating or brushing my teeth.

He told me I should come back to check in with him in two weeks. He isn’t planning on doing anything except taking a look at my mouth then, but he said that he’d have to wire it shut again if my teeth were in the wrong place. I was relieved to hear that he’s only had to do that once, but it didn’t occur to me at the time to ask how many patients he’s treated with this kind of injury.

After a quick stop at the front desk to schedule my appointment, I was on my way back to my office.

Mission accomplished (within margin of error)

29 Apr

I stopped by a university gym early this afternoon to weigh myself and see whether I had succeeded in my challenge. My weight was 152 pounds after emptying my pockets. This represents a loss of three pounds from my baseline reading. This is within the normal range of fluctuations of human weight, and given that the readings were taken on different scales, I’ll declare myself more or less successful.

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